Politeness.
Published 1 year, 9 months ago in My life.“Anthropologists define two forms of politeness: positive and negative. The first is typified by American cheerfulness and instant intimacy. The second says ‘I will respectfully keep out of your space if you keep out of mine’” (The Age ‘Opinion’ 12/2).
That ‘American cheerfulness’ is not polite. It is the invasion of ones space- to me at least. I may be speaking from the minority, but I do my best to stray myself from those people that confront you in leaps and bounds throwing a pair of arms around your neck. I suppose I’ve never been exposed to this first form of politeness. Instead, I quite relate to the second form. That’s the way I tend to head through life- my business is mine, and yours is… well, yours. Sometimes I figure I’m so uptight; there seems to be this distance between me and everybody else my age. A lot of the time I just find it difficult to relate, or reluctant to?
I’d rather not be overwhelmed with ‘politeness’, I’d rather take the more subtle approach. Does it ever get you anywhere, though?
3 Responses to “Politeness.”
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I agree. Cheek kissing and hugging on meeting and greeting is something that in my experience of Australian culture is reserved for very close friends or family, (even then not all family or families). People that hardly know you and insist on the embrace and phoney peck on the cheek are invading your space and it almost borders on assault. Politeness is being respectful of individuals and that includes respecting their space. I have often wondered if my relctance to join in with the cheek pecking has had a negative impact upon the way I have socialised with colleagues but frankly I have come to the realization that if it has then it it everyone else that has the problem not me. I am who I am and I respect individuals as individuals and I expect the same in return. While it takes others time to adjust to me as me in the long run there has not been any problems for me to get to where I want to go.
In my experience the people who fling their arms around you and embrace you on the first meeting will drop you just as quickly when someone new comes along.
What about simple genuine politeness, something that comes straight from the heart, neither forced nor faked? Just a thought..